Welcome Back, Soulxscapers!

Last time we spoke, we explored the theme of personal growth through Stanley Kunitz's poem The Layers. We reflected on how we all have layers of our past selves—shaped by our experiences, relationships, and challenges. These layers tell the story of who we’ve been and how we’ve grown. Kunitz reminded us that, although we shed some of these layers, there’s a core within us that remains steady through it all—a "principle of being" that guides us forward.

As we honor the layers we’ve shed, it’s important to acknowledge how we evolve and how our relationships grow with us. Just like the layers of our own growth, love too transforms over time. And that’s where we’re heading today—into a reflection on how love, too, has its own layers and growth.

Poem

Featured Poem: "I See You Want to Know" by F. Scott Fitzgerald

I see you want to know
The love that once was mine,
The passion that I used to show,
The heart, the soul, the rhyme.

But love is never quite the same,
It changes with the time,
And all that once was wild and flame
Becomes a quiet, tender chime.

The Meaning of the Poem

Fitzgerald's "I See You Want to Know" captures the evolution of love, highlighting how it transforms over time. At the beginning of a relationship, love often feels intense and overwhelming, full of excitement and possibility. Fitzgerald reflects on this early stage where love burns with passion and energy, making everything feel alive. But as time passes, love shifts, and the intensity softens, giving way to a quieter, more intimate connection. The once fiery love now takes on a steady, comforting presence, symbolized by a "tender chime."

This shift in love isn’t a loss; it’s a natural part of its growth. Just like us, love matures, becoming more rooted in trust, understanding, and shared experiences. What was once a spark that could set the world on fire turns into a flame that quietly warms and supports through life’s challenges. The poem highlights that the evolution of love deepens its strength, turning what was once wild into something even more powerful and enduring.

Much like the layers of personal growth we’ve explored, love also has layers. The passionate love of the beginning stages evolves into a deeper, more meaningful connection that stands the test of time. This transformation doesn’t diminish the love but enhances it, adding depth and resilience. Each layer of love represents a new stage in the relationship, strengthening the bond and creating a lasting foundation built on understanding, care, and shared history.

How It Resonates with Us

This poem resonates deeply with anyone who has experienced the transformation of love over time. In the beginning, love can be all-consuming, exciting, and full of newness. We’ve all felt that initial spark when a relationship feels like a whirlwind, and everything is amplified by the energy of the unknown. But over time, as Fitzgerald suggests, love becomes quieter and more profound, shifting from that intense fire to a deeper, more enduring connection. This quiet transformation can be incredibly powerful, and it’s something we may not always recognize in the moment, but when we reflect, we see the beauty in how it evolves.

Love, like growth, requires us to adapt and change. It’s easy to chase the early intensity, but true fulfillment in love comes when we accept the natural progression of it. As we grow together, we learn to lean into that quieter love, one rooted in trust, patience, and mutual understanding. This poem reminds us that the depth of love we experience after the initial stages can be even more beautiful. It teaches us to honor the subtle ways love grows stronger, becoming something more meaningful with time.

Much like our personal growth, the layers of love are important to acknowledge. There are different stages—some passionate, some quieter—but each one plays a role in shaping our connection. We shouldn’t mourn the loss of the “fire” but instead celebrate the steadiness that replaces it. Each layer of love adds depth and resilience, creating a bond that can withstand challenges and stand the test of time. Love, just like us, continues to grow, change, and evolve into something richer and more profound with every passing year.

Deep Questions to Reflect On

• How has your love evolved over time? What layers have you shed as your relationship grows?

• In what ways has your love become quieter, steadier, or more meaningful?

• What parts of your past self or past relationships have you had to let go of to allow love to transform?

• How do you embrace the changes in your relationship and the love you share?

Answering the Questions

As we grow, so do our relationships. Just like we shed layers of ourselves to make space for new growth, we also need to let go of the past versions of our relationships. Love is a journey, and understanding its layers allows us to appreciate both the passionate beginnings and the quiet strength that love becomes.

Reflecting on these changes helps us appreciate the depth of our relationships and recognize how love becomes more than just a feeling—it’s a process, a constant evolution of connection.

Actionable Steps for Relationship Growth

1. Reflect on Love’s Evolution:
   Take a moment to think about how your relationship has grown. What layers have you shed? How has your love deepened over time?

2. Embrace the Quiet Moments:
   Look for the moments where love may be quieter but just as meaningful—perhaps in the way you support each other, share small moments, or simply understand each other without words.

3. Celebrate the Transformation:
   Recognize how your love has evolved. Take time to celebrate the journey your relationship has been on, honoring both the passion and the peace that it has become.

4. Let Go of Old Expectations:
   Sometimes, we hold onto the idea of what love should look like. Consider letting go of any old expectations that no longer serve you or your relationship. Allow love to be what it is in the present moment.

5. Nurture the Relationship You Have Now:
   Focus on one small, intentional act this week to deepen the love you share—whether it’s through a thoughtful gesture, a conversation about your growth, or simply enjoying time together.

Closing Thoughts: Love is a Journey of Layers

Just as Kunitz’s The Layers showed us that growth is about shedding and embracing new versions of ourselves, Fitzgerald’s poem reminds us that love, too, is a journey of transformation. Each phase of love—whether fiery passion or quiet connection—has its own beauty. As we grow, so does the love we share, becoming something even more profound and enduring.

So today, honor the love that has grown with you, the layers of passion and peace that you’ve experienced, and trust in the journey ahead.

What step will you take today to peel back a new layer of love?